Trigger warning for homophobic and ableist language used for illustrative purposes, plus a reference to violence against gay people and general verbal abuse.

Photo by Tim Green on Flickr

Here’s the thing: I love language. I love to play with it, make silly phrases, paint pictures with it, use it to inspire and enlighten, and cut straight to the point of things with it. However, I also know that it can do much more sinister things. It can be used to turn people against others, to segregate, to kill and maim. [ETA: I just remembered that "sinister" comes from an insult against left-handed people, who were once thought to be in league with the Devil. I don't think my personal language policing goes that far though!]

• “Faggot” was the last word Matthew Shepard heard as he was beaten to death. I dread to think of how many others to whom that also applies. If you use it, you’re probably not welcome on this blog or in my company.
• “Schizos” are still characterised as all having multiple personalities and being violent, neither of which are true. If you use it, you need to get educated or GTFO. (One of my favourite artists, Janelle Monáe, uses the word in her songs, which makes me really sad.)
• “Moron” and “idiot” used to be medical terms for learning difficulties and disabilities, then and now used to perpetuate the idea that people with more knowledge are intrinsically superior. (While we’re on it, the concept of “intelligence” is pretty much all rubbish – more on that in a later post.) I confess I used to relish using these terms. I won’t get angry if you do; I just don’t any more. I feel it’s an insult to people with learning disabilities to be used in that way.
• “Hysteria” was a word used to condemn women, sometimes to asylums, for such disorders as expressing opinions. It is a specifically female word, coming from the Greek for “uterus”. I like to use “testerical” instead, just to see what happens.

Where does avoiding inflammatory language end? That line is for everyone to decide on themselves, but here’s my explanation of where I draw it and why.

I believe reclamation is the right of any marginalised group, but you have to tread carefully. Compare Chris Rock’s comedy routine to Julian Curry’s Def Poetry Slam piece (massive trigger warning for racist language in both of them). As another example, “queer” has been reclaimed to the point that it’s used in the title of university courses (and Russell T Davies shows), but it’s still widespread as an insult. The best alternative I can find, besides the alphabet soup that is LGBTQIAetc, is “gender and sexual minorities”, but even that has problems – namely that it’s a reminder that the people covered by it are in the minority.

Here’s another example: at the very start of my first year at Imperial, I, a person of White British ethnicity, was with three other people in my year – one of whom was Indian, one Sri Lankan, one Iranian. They were discussing how they could use racial epithets as members of ethnic minorities, but I couldn’t – pretty much the definition of reclamation. However, later in the conversation they started to refer to things as “gay”, in the ridiculous modern sense that means, apparently, a silly haircut can desire to have sexual intercourse with other silly haircuts of its own gender.

Did I keep quiet? Well, yes. I’m a coward, and a quiet one. But every time I fail to intervene in something like that, it haunts me. To summarise, reclamation is fine – but be careful.

I can talk with the most authority about mental illness, being someone afflicted by it. (Obviously I’m female and working class and other things too, but I’m most knowledgeable about mental illness and language.) My views on this are pretty consistent with what I said above – reclamation good, insults and inaccuracy bad. Using terms like “depressed” or “schizophrenic” in a non-medical or non-reclamatory sense just adds to stigma by spreading misinformation and turning mental illness into something to be ashamed of. How many young people think depression is “just feeling a bit sad”, rather than the crushing reality? How many would baulk at being called “mental” or “emo”?

On the other hand, yesterday I used the phrase “cocktail of crazy” to refer to my mental illness. That’s alright. It’s my mental illness. I’m proud of the fact I can joke about it now rather than being scared to tell anyone. But I would never use such a phrase to describe someone else’s mental illness, unless they were fine with it. (Though do feel free to use the phrase yourself if you like!) I don’t think the same rule applies to physical illnesses as much, since there isn’t that stigma or that lack of understanding in most of them (an exception would be HIV/AIDS). At the same time, I would avoid comparing things to, for example, cancer – it’s too likely that whoever I’m talking to would have been affected by it, or lost someone to it. When people use words relating to mental illness, generally they do it wrong – and if there’s one thing I hate even more than hurting people it’s hurting people through avoidable inaccuracy.

I try to avoid language that is homophobic, transphobic, any-orientation-or-gender-expression-not-covered-by-those-terms-phobic, sexist, racist, ableist, classist, ageist, sizeist, rape-culture-perpetuating and probably anything else you can think of. Some words are harder to purge from my vocabulary (I would never use a racist word, but I’ve called people “stupid” or “chavvy” in the past), but I’m trying. I’m even working hard to stop being snobby about universities that aren’t as academic as mine! I think that deserves a cookie. You may think “ooooh, PC gone mad!1!!11!1″; I just don’t want to hurt anyone inadvertently. I know what it’s like to be triggered, and I know how much damage words can do. I’ve had stuff yelled at me in the street; I’ve been called names; I’ve had otherwise innocuous words used against me. I’ve reclaimed some of those words; some remain inaccurate; others still make me sick to my stomach. Cleaning up my language requires constant vigilance, but then so does crossing a tightrope. This tightrope just happens to be infinite and hanging over a pit full of marginalised people.

To end, here’s a list of things I can (and will) call you:

• Ignorant (a good alternative for ableist insults – people can’t help having learning disabilities, but if someone *could* educate themselves and just don’t then they should be called out on it)
• Foolish
• A douche-canoe (to me, “douche” isn’t problematic, as said in this post on Skepchick – they’re harmful in excess, they’re not confined to women, and the ones that are are harmful AND pointless)
• A weak gauge boson (though they’re actually cool and important – it’s just fun to say)
• A dingbat
• A blaggard
• The veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth (or anything else from Shakespeare)
• A stellar buffoon (Eddington for the win! Even when he was being mean to Chandrasekhar…)
• A mathematician (ouch)*

* Just kidding – I’m a closet mathematician myself. Happy Coming Out Day, by the way!

It’s actually more fun coming up with insults within restrictions – you have to think more laterally (the same reason I prefer writing poetry with rhyme and meter). Why not give it a go? This Christmas, give your loved ones put-downs specifically tailored to them that don’t insult anyone else in the process! Focus your insult beam with a lens of language policing!

Alternatively, this.